10 years ago I would have never thought I would be a homeschooling mom.
But now 6 years into this journey, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Let me paint you a picture of my former life.
I was a normal suburban mom. I got the kids up in the morning, fed them breakfast and off to school we went. Some days I would stay and volunteer all morning. Other days I did grocery shopping or leisurely shopping. I made lunch dates. Then I would go back and pick my kids up and go home to homework, dinner and bath time. And always couldn’t wait until bedtime. OH MY bedtime couldn’t come fast enough. One year I was even a PTA board member. Voted as volunteer of the year in our school! Homeschooling never even crossed my mind. I loved being away from my kids.
So how in the world did I become a homeschooling mom?
We moved out to the country. And people weren’t as nice as they were in our old neighborhood. I wasn’t embraced by the school, teachers or PTA and neither were my kids. We came in the middle of the year and that made us different. Why I am not sure? Tons of people move schools in the middle of a school year. Out here it made us outcast. I had a daughter who was brilliant and they couldn’t see it. And a daughter that would freeze and have a panic attack at the mention of a test and they didn’t care.
Down here in Florida we have an annual test called the FCAT. Like a standardize test, but Florida thought it would be fun to say if you don’t pass this test in 3rd or 12th grade, you don’t pass or get a diploma. So the teachers were under pressure and they put their students under pressure. This wasn’t a good situation for someone with a test anxiety. So I talked to the teachers. The results were deal with it because the State of Florida says this is the way it is. Let me tell you, I tried to walk away from this teacher without an argument. But she followed me out into the hallway and confronted me. After a huge argument which got me labeled as the Bitch mom. I walked away and decided no one was going to tell me to deal with it. This was the day we decided to homeschool.
At first it started with just my oldest two children. But half-way through the year, my youngest joined. Over the years, my kids have chosen home or school. I think we finally got it right with my oldest in a regular public school and my 3 youngest homeschooling. It fits everyone’s personalities and makes everyone happy.
It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. And there are days when I am like what was I thinking!?! But to see my test anxiety child, who hated reading and took 3 hours to write spelling sentences, pick up a book on her own and fall in love with the characters and stories was amazing. To see her read a 700 page book with joy, unbelievable. And now I am experiencing it with my special needs child. Who always felt safer to stick with the easy reader books, branch out and found, not 1 but 2 series that has her excited for our library trips. There were tears, fights, judgement and criticism. Still is.
But I have seen so much and learned so much through homeschooling and my kids.
I realized I love them more everyday! And being with them to watch them grow is a blessing.
After a much needed break, I am back and ready to blog! And I am definitely ready for a new year and a new me.
2013 is going to be awesome! Well because I said so!
I am taking control of me, my life and my anxiety. That is my biggest 2013 resolution.
During the break, I felt fantastic. I had a few moments of relapse. And a particularly bad day on New Year’s. But I made it through and realized that I can’t and won’t live like this. It’s not living and when you stop living that is when your physical and mental health start to go downhill. And I won’t let that happen. I am only 31!!!
And on that note I had a birthday over the break. I actually went out shopping and to dinner 2 days in a row for my birthday. I was so proud! I do notice I have less anxiety going out when I’m with my husband. Maybe he is like a security blanket for me right now. Unfortunately he is also a very busy man so I can’t expect him to be there with me for every errand. Baby steps, but I will get there.
So look out 2013!