A wise but VERY OLD man once told me that I need to keep doing the things I love because that is what’s going to keep me sane.
Well my Dad was absolutely right!
And I am making a point to do things that I loved to do before my world imploded. A few years ago, I fought depression and anxiety. It hit me hard and out of the blue. It took a lot to pull myself out of it. But I did it without drugs or therapy. I worked on the internal me.
Well this year has been nothing but a bunch of bumps in the road. And I have moments where I can feel the anxiety and depression starting to creep back in. This time instead of hiding it from my family, I am very vocal in saying I am having a bad day. It also feels good to have a great support system in the chaos called my life. My family, all of them, have been amazing!
But now it’s time for me to get back to being me.
First things first. Clearing my calendar. You should see all the things written on it. Doctors appointments, homeschool activities, Brianna’s school activities…etc. I have to slow down. I have been on the go constantly for 4 months now. And I feel it hitting me.
So October we are starting to slow down.
I need to be home in order to have a homestead. My garden has suffered. My chickens have suffered. My wallet and health has suffered.
I enjoy doing things with my kids. But I am also an introvert, which means I honestly enjoy a relaxing day at home more.
The last few weeks I have made the effort to do something for me. I have cooked more. I cleaned out my chicken coop and started going back to the old way of taking care of them, instead of my lazy way. And I even read a book!
The difference I feel is incredible and I am going to keep on this path of getting back to me.
2 thoughts on “Back to me”
Sheesh. This could have been written by me. My life turned upside down in 2009 and I’ve struggled to get it right side up ever since. Grief never seems to leave a person. Depression is frustrating. I gave up all the things I loved because my depression made it to where I just couldn’t function. I totally get what you’re saying. We recently moved away from all that’s familiar and at first it was totally exciting, now every single day something goes wrong. I am fighting off depression tooth and nail. I hope to have a house again someday so I can begin to do the things that bring me joy, peace, and bring me back to myself. 🙂
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One day at a time. Everyday I try to start with a fresh outlook at how great of a day it will be.