Needless to say 2011 was the year from hell for me and my family. It started off bright and cheerful. Business was great for us which was a huge blessing. Then in March my grandfather who is like a father to me, got very ill and ended up in a nursing home almost 30 minutes away. With 4 kids it was impossible to get there to see him as much as I liked. On May 27th he left this world to be peaceful and healthy again. It was very sudden because my Aunt was just there that morning and said he was doing extremely well. So shocked would be an accurate description of how I was feeling and alone since my husband had to leave and go out of town the next day. I stayed strong and soldier through for everyone.

Fast forward 1 month; the day before my grandpa’s funeral I hadn’t lost it. I was the strong one in the family. And then it happened. I sent a simple text to my mother. I got a smart comment back. I sent another simple text. I got another smart comment back. I got a little ticked off at this point because our relationship has always been me fighting to have that relationship and trying not to make her mad. I decided to drop the subject and go about my business. Then the name came up on my caller id… mom’s new husband. I didn’t answer. But I did call my brother who lives with them to see what was going on. When I got home my phone was ringing off the wall from the new hubby. I decide to answer… he had been drinking….and he decided that the day before I lay my grandfather to rest was a good day for him to call me and talk to me like I was an immature spoiled child who always had to get her way. And then it happened…. he also thought it was a good day to insult my grandfather! I finally lost it.

We haven’t spoken since. I have seen him but he hasn’t apologized and thinks he is right in what he did. I also found out that he has been saying rude comments about my husband. My mom hasn’t apologized for her part which was misinterpreting a simple text message. They also haven’t apologized for lying to my entire family about what happened and turning them against me. I finally lost it again (twice in a year; must be a record) and told my mom how I have not forgotten and brushing it under the rug is not the way to solve problems. But her answer is we were all wrong. My response no I was not. That is where we left it. And that is how I said good-bye to 2011. I got my feelings out. Which in my family I have always been known as the peace keeper unless you threaten my husband or children. I always had a saying ” Say what you want about me but don’t mess with my family”. I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore and the stress that I felt lift off my shoulders was unbelievable.

I rang in 2012 with peace in my heart and a lot of good memories with my family! Because in the end it was my teenage daughter, who is usually on opposite ends of the rope with me that stood on the same side, that made me see how much I am loved. And my husband, making more time for us during the holidays and going out of his way even when he was working 7 days a week to make it feel normal again, that made me stronger. My 2 youngest daughters helping with the shopping, cleaning, anything I needed, that showed me I wasn’t alone. And my son who said thank you before even opening the present and the look of excitement and joy on his face with every present, that made me smile.

Welcome 2012! The year I turn 30! The year I live my life for me and not to play referee. The year I bask in the sunshine of happiness. This year is going to be amazing!