kids

The phone call no parent (or in this case, sister) ever wants to get

/ Jeanette / 1 Comment

I have the best baby brother in the world. He truly is like one of my kids to me. I was 13 when he was born and I just took over as a little momma hen from the moment he arrived. I taught him to show respect to adults. I also taught him that out of everyone I am the one to fear when misbehaving because I am the one who expects the most from him. I just knew he was destined for greatness and I pushed him to show that.

Now flash forward 18 years, he is a senior and has his whole life ahead of him with a bright future. He is learning to drive and be an adult and everything that means.

About a month and a half ago, my mom called around 5pm. Which was unusual and I knew something was wrong. First thing out of her mouth was Brandon and 2 of his friends had been in a car accident and he was driving. She sounded calm but I was an instant mess and I was driving at the time. Thank god for my back country roads with no traffic! Not trusting anything my mom says sometimes, I was yelling is he ok. Do you physically see him in front of you and he is ok? Then she was like Oh my god, the cars are totaled. And I am trying to judge how fast I can make it from my little city to the big city at quitting time. But she assured me that he was ok. So luckily I was 5 minutes from home when this phone call came in. I was shaking and had a ton of questions.

So a couple hours later, I needed to hear from him that he was okay. And I was overjoyed when I heard his voice on the other line. I even had my cousin go check on him the next day since they both go to the same school.

Needless to say, Brandon was very worried about the other driver and took responsibility like a man. He worried about the financial aspects of it since my brother decided a 2012 Lexus was the perfect match for his 2000 Chevy Malibu. Would he owe on what his insurance didn’t cover? But listening to him fret over real world stuff made me both proud and heartbroken.

Proud because I feel like he is the man I wanted and knew he could and would become. And heartbroken because I don’t have that smarty pants little baby brother who thought it would be fun to run into a wall to see what a fly felt like.

Graduation will be in a month and then he is off to boot camp for the National Guard for about 9 months. 9 very long months without my first baby boy!

Monster Jam 2013

/ Jeanette / Leave a comment

For Christmas, Hubby got the family tickets to Monser Jam. As many of you know I was fighting some kind of depression/anxiety so the idea of going out into a HUGE crowd was a little nerve racking. But I got to say that I think this was a massive turning point. But more on that later. On to the fun….

Lucky for us, Hubby got some amazing seats. We were covered over head in case any Florida snow (rain) popped up and had a view of everything. Plus we were by the really nice food stands and the really nice bathrooms. Which was wonderful because with 4 kids, I think I spent 75% of the time in there.

DSCN1914 DSCN1915 DSCN1916

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why I homeschool?

/ Jeanette / Leave a comment

10 years ago I would have never thought I would be a homeschooling mom.

But now 6 years into this journey, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Let me paint you a picture of my former life.

I was a normal suburban mom. I got the kids up in the morning, fed them breakfast and off to school we went. Some days I would stay and volunteer all morning. Other days I did grocery shopping or leisurely shopping. I made lunch dates. Then I would go back and pick my kids up and go home to homework, dinner and bath time. And always couldn’t wait until bedtime. OH MY bedtime couldn’t come fast enough. One year I was even a PTA board member. Voted as volunteer of the year in our school! Homeschooling never even crossed my mind. I loved being away from my kids.

So how in the world did I become a homeschooling mom?

We moved out to the country. And people weren’t as nice as they were in our old neighborhood. I wasn’t embraced by the school, teachers or PTA and neither were my kids. We came in the middle of the year and that made us different. Why I am not sure? Tons of people move schools in the middle of a school year. Out here it made us outcast. I had a daughter who was brilliant and they couldn’t see it. And a daughter that would freeze and have a panic attack at the mention of a test and they didn’t care.

Down here in Florida we have an annual test called the FCAT. Like a standardize test, but Florida thought it would be fun to say if you don’t pass this test in 3rd or 12th grade, you don’t pass or get a diploma. So the teachers were under pressure and they put their students under pressure. This wasn’t a good situation for someone with a test anxiety. So I talked to the teachers. The results were deal with it because the State of Florida says this is the way it is. Let me tell you, I tried to walk away from this teacher without an argument. But she followed me out into the hallway and confronted me. After a huge argument which got me labeled as the Bitch mom. I walked away and decided no one was going to tell me to deal with it. This was the day we decided to homeschool.

At first it started with just my oldest two children. But half-way through the year, my youngest joined. Over the years, my kids have chosen home or school. I think we finally got it right with my oldest in a regular public school and my 3 youngest homeschooling. It fits everyone’s personalities and makes everyone happy.

It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. And there are days when I am like what was I thinking!?! But to see my test anxiety child, who hated reading and took 3 hours to write spelling sentences, pick up a book on her own and fall in love with the characters and stories was amazing. To see her read a 700 page book with joy, unbelievable. And now I am experiencing it with my special needs child. Who always felt safer to stick with the easy reader books, branch out and found, not 1 but 2 series that has her excited for our library trips. There were tears, fights, judgement and criticism. Still is.

But I have seen so much and learned so much through homeschooling and my kids.

I realized I love them more everyday! And being with them to watch them grow is a blessing.

Hello 2013!

/ Jeanette / Leave a comment

After a much needed break, I am back and ready to blog! And I am definitely ready for a new year and a new me.

2013 is going to be awesome! Well because I said so!

I am taking control of me, my life and my anxiety. That is my biggest 2013 resolution.

During the break, I felt fantastic. I had a few moments of relapse. And a particularly bad day on New Year’s. But I made it through and realized that I can’t and won’t live like this. It’s not living and when you stop living that is when your physical and mental health start to go downhill. And I won’t let that happen. I am only 31!!!

And on that note I had a birthday over the break. I actually went out shopping and to dinner 2 days in a row for my birthday. I was so proud! I do notice I have less anxiety going out when I’m with my husband. Maybe he is like a security blanket for me right now. Unfortunately he is also a very busy man so I can’t expect him to be there with me for every errand. Baby steps, but I will get there.

So look out 2013!

Night of the Living Dead

/ Jeanette / Leave a comment

Hello Everyone,

It’s been a long time since I posted on here and I missed some AMAZING opportunities in our lives over the last few months. My reason was I wasn’t here. Mentally or Emotionally. Only my physical self was here. I didn’t realize it but I was fighting depression and anxiety. I see it now. I had all the symptoms.

Lack of Motivation

Loss of appetite

Feeling of sadness

Fatigue

Yup that was me! And then I had this anxiety that I didn’t want to leave the house. The thought literally made me feel like I was drowning. I always made excuses about why I couldn’t go do this or that. Looking back it was ridiculous. But I couldn’t help it.

No one knew what was going on until one day, I told my hubby that I wasn’t myself and something was wrong. Step 1 admitting a problem~check.

I spent days telling myself I wanted to feel normal. I kept willing, begging and praying to feel normal again. I just wanted to be me again. So why couldn’t I? And how did I get to this point?

Well I think it was just my year from hell finally came crashing down on me and reality sank in.

My grandpa is gone.

My mom and I will never be the same.

My cousin died of Esphogial cancer.

HELL~ even my kids Pediatrician who was my doctor died.

I realized my childhood was a ball of lies.

My daughters are growing and one is in high school (I think that was icing on the cake)!

Ever since she started high school, it kept getting worse and worse. I became obsessive about homeschooling. It felt like the last normal part of me. And I made it consume 150% of my life.

Last straw was 2 weeks ago. I had my whole little family here including my brother. And I started sinking. It literally came out of nowhere. My brother and husband noticed it. And hubby finally convinced me to take something for it. It helped! I only took 1/2 a pill but it immediately helped.

I was so reluctant. I didn’t want too. I didn’t think I needed it. But I did and I see that now through clear eyes.

I have my life back after 1/2 a pill. I haven’t taken another one since. I don’t know if I was ready enough that all I needed was a little boost. But I feel like Jeanette again.

And I am SOOOO appreciating it to the point of being corny. But I notice the colors of the sky, grass and streams. I see everything clearly. And I love it!

But at the same time, I missed so much. And that I will never get back.

So that is why I am taking the rest of the year off. I am going to enjoy the moments and live! I am going to enjoy my family. And I will be back in the New Year. I need this and my family deserves this.

But one last thing~If you are reading this and saying I feel the same way. Please, PLEASE seek help. Mine start by vocalizing to my hubby and reaching out. Tell a friend or seek professional help on your own. It is nothing to be ashamed of and you will feel so much better once you do. You can start living again.

And to any friends and family that read this and go I had no idea. Well I am an awesome actress and should be given an Oscar.

 

Windy day fun, FINALLY!!!!!!

/ Jeanette / Leave a comment

Our yard has finally dried up and is somewhat back to normal. And it happened just in time. We have had some BEAUTIFUL weather lately. The kids and I had to take advantage of it. With all the rain and mud, cabin fever was beginning to set in. Not a pretty site with 4 kids and 3 dogs.

So as soon as we could we took our learning outside.

And then the wind started blowing and what does a kid always want to do on a windy day……

Fly kites!

I was lucky to have found some clearance kites at the end of summer at Walmart. And the kids were itching to get them out and in the sky.

Lil man did fantastic!

Tadpoles

/ Jeanette / Leave a comment

One fun thing did come from all that rain and standing water in our yard. TADPOLES!!

I have never seen tadpoles before. Yes I know I am deprived. But ya know I was a city girl!

So when the kids told me they saw a ton of tadpoles, I had to see for myself.

And then we had to catch some.

Luckily,I had a tank leftover from our pet turtle that we released in our pond last summer.

We kept them for a week or so and then released them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting 10 years apart

/ Jeanette / Leave a comment

When I first became a mom, I was 17 and alone, meaning the father hit the road. I was lucky to have family around me. But it was still crazy, hard and a huge responsibility. I’d like to think I handled it better than most, but you know opinions vary, I guess.

Unlike statistics, that say 1 in so many teen moms will have a second child within so many years, I didn’t have another child for another 10 years.

Yes I had 3 girls. But 2 I didn’t physically give birth too. When I gave birth to my son it was exactly 10 years and 6 days after the birth of my daughter.

Now that my son is 3. I see some changes that I have made as far as appreciating the little things that a baby/child does.

Looking back I see where I was in hurry for my daughter to reach and hit milestones. I wanted her to potty train sooner than most. I was excited when she could spell her name at 2 1/2. I moved her into a twin size bed at 2. I think I wanted her to hurry up and grow to that “fun stage”. And now it makes me sad that I didn’t really enjoy it. Meaning I was too young and naive and self absorbed (I’m not afraid to admit it) to see how incredibly special that time was and how fast they grow. And I am not saying it was just my biological daughter. I think I did it with all 3 girls. I mean I had to adjust to being mom to 3, while planning a wedding, while in the I can’t get enough of you love phase, then becoming a newlywed/wife and then buying my first house. I think I was just too busy, unfortunately.

Now when I had my son. I LOVED the whole baby stage. I loved waking up at night. I loved changing the dirty diapers. The one regret I do have is not breast feeding longer (which was not even an option in my mind when I had my daughter). I wait until the last possible moment to push him to move to the next stage of his life.

I left him in a crib until about 6 months ago. My mom was hounding me about getting him a big boy bed. But I just wanted to wait until I knew he was ready and me for that matter. And when I did switch him I didn’t have the fighting at night and the up and down with him. From day one, he has slept in his bed all night. In fact, in the morning and nap time, he doesn’t get up and come out. He lays in there and calls my name. But I think it’s because he likes me to cuddle with him.

I just switched him to pull-ups about 5 months ago or so.

I just started potty training off and on about 2 weeks ago. Getting more consistent with it every week. Of course I talked to him about it, I just didn’t force the issue. And I have to admit seeing all the friends on Facebook saying how their kids, that are younger than him, are potty trained did give me a moment of am I a terrible parent. But then I brushed it off and went to change his pull-up (HAHA).

I didn’t push him to learn the alphabet or his name. He has chosen to sit down and do school with his sisters. But I also don’t force it everyday. If he sits at the table I am prepared, if he doesn’t no big deal.

I take the time to lay in bed and cuddle with him every morning. And we have begun storytime before bed every night.

I just realized how much easier it is as a 30 yr old than as the young mom. And yes I am sure some of it has to do with the fact that he is number 4. But I feel like a lot of it is me. Waiting and wanting another for so long and now having it and appreciating it.

I realized how much of a gift it is to be someone’s mom.

Back to school~ our core subjects

/ Jeanette / Leave a comment

I am very lucky in the sense that my kids all have similar interest which makes homeschooling 3 different levels easier. Not saying it’s a breeze, but easier to connect everyone together and I am not in 50 million directions, only 49 million.

This year we are doing Science, History and Geography together.

Science~ We are using Apologia Zoology 2 and are studying Marine Animals. My kids LOVE animals so the zoology books were a great fit. My 8th grader uses the corresponding Notebook while my 5th grader uses a varied of free lapbooks.

History~ We are continuing with Story of the World book 1. I did have my girls doing 2 different things. But the youngest was getting lost so I decided to bring her back in on the Story of the World lessons and she has done wonderful.

Geography~ The original plan was to have the 8th grader continue to study the states and the 5th grader to study the countries. But the oldest wanted to learn the countries. So we are all on the same page there too. For this we use Little passports and then I supplement with information from the internet and books/DVD from the library.

Language Arts/ Writing~ This has been a struggle because both kids hate writing. They hate capitalizing, punctuation, all of it. All I want is a paragraph and it’s like pulling teeth. So we have been on a trial and error basis on curriculum. We have been using Daily Language Activity book consistently.

Math~ Our 8th grader is doing Pre-Algebra while our 5th grader is doing basic math. For my 8th grader, I actually ordered an old textbook from Ebay and we found that we LOVE this book. The examples are clear and really make learning easier. Before we used the Spectrum workbooks and though I love them, there wasn’t always a good example. But this book is fantastic. I also ordered an old textbook for the 5th grader, but considering her special needs it is still way to early to tell if this will work or not.

Spelling~ Each has their own workbooks.

Reading~ Each will be reading their own assigned Novel and then supplementing with activities.This month our 8th grade is reading The White Giraffe and our 5th grader is reading The Magic Treehouse Book 1~Dinosaurs after Dark. Each also have a reading comprehension books.

I just wanted to make a quick note about some of the levels my kids are on. Both of my daughters show signs of learning disabilities. And my 5th grader is more on a late 3rd early 4th grade level. So I know this will not fit for everyone. And my oldest is right on maybe even above in some areas but then lacks in the writing department.