It’s 6:30 on a Sunday morning. And I am up already making my way through my first cup of coffee. I enjoy listening to the birds chirp and the frogs croak as my dogs go in and out of the house. I consider this my quiet relaxing time. Except I am not.
I feel immensely overwhelmed. I feel as if I haven’t done anything fun with my kids since “school” has gotten out. I also feel that I haven’t worked with them on completing their science lessons from last year. I feel like my son doesn’t get enough attention. I never read him books and I haven’t even started potty training. I feel like I should be looking towards next year and I need to get braces for the oldest before she goes into High School. But all I want to do is breathe.
We had an unexpected house guest show up and stay for about 3 weeks. And it just threw off everything in the house. Things slipped and slide into the maybe later department. And he is not very sociable guest and was kinda depressing. So I feel like it brought the whole house down.
Hubby has been working his butt off. Which is a blessing but I would love if he could spend a little bit of time with us.
In writing all this down I realize that I need to relax. I let little things in life bother me. I let what people say, do and think into my soul and let it eat away at me.
So what if my almost 3 year old isn’t potty trained! There is no law!
So what if I didn’t get to the last worksheet on birds? They learned a lot just ask them!
So what if my house is a mess and the yard isn’t cut? I live in the country its normal out here!
What I am enjoying is hearing my birds and frogs, the bright sunshine that fills the sky, the loud squeals of delight that fill my house at times and the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning.
And I need to live for me, my kids and my husband. These years are so precious. I know that and can’t understand why I am getting depressed about my kids being older instead of savoring every moment.
Maybe its in my DNA. I know that can’t be changed (Lord knows I have tried) but I can change who I am and want to be. And that is what I am going to start doing.