Eye opening experience

The Wednesday before Christmas I was watching some TV with my daughter when my Lil man came up complaining about his back hurting and asked if I would rub it. As I was rubbing his back I felt a huge lump. It wasn’t there before and was about the size of a golf ball. I asked if he bumped it but he said no. I secretly started to panic thinking of all the things it could and everything was the worse possible scenario. I made a doctor appointment and took him in the next day. The doctor was puzzled too. So she sent us for an xray. I kept calling about the results and driving the nurses crazy. By Monday I was livid and wanted answers. I had barely slept in 4 days and kept thinking this could be the last Christmas together. I know that is crazy for my mind to go there but I always feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Finally around 1:30pm Monday I got a voicemail from the doctor. Everything looked normal! Now here we are a week later from when I discovered the lump it has almost completely disappeared. I feel stupid for panicking but I would have felt worse if it turned out to be the worse case scenario and I brushed it off.

But, in a way, I am very thankful that this happened. It opened my eyes to how fast your life can change and everything can be taken away from you. I feel like life has been going by so fast that I haven’t really enjoyed it. Or took time for the little things. This whole thing made me take a deep breath and relax. I feel like I am always planning. Planning a grocery trip, planning menus, planning homeschool for next week, month and year. I am always trying to get ahead instead of just stopping and enjoying what is now!

And on top of that it made me realized that tomorrow is not a guarantee. There are so many things that I always say I want to do but then never get around to doing. I always say oh maybe next year. But between being busy and my anxiety, it has prevented me from doing so much.

Not anymore!

YOLO~ you only live once~ my new life motto.

2014 is going to be the year of enjoying the little things and seeing and doing the things I always say we would do.

 

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One thought on “Eye opening experience

  1. I’m right there with you! I feel like I’ve been planning and following a plan for the better part of 25 years! I’ve been working on just being, more and more, starting this year and will continue into next. Best of luck to you!

    Like

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